-tableView:heightForRowAtIndexPath:
is by design how variable sized cells are calculated. The actual frame of a cell is of no importance and is changed by the table view to fit its needs.
You are sort of thinking of this backwards. The delegate tells the table view how cells need to be drawn, then the table view forces cells to fit those characteristics. The only thing you need to provide to the cell is the data it needs to hold.
This is because a table view calculates all the heights of all the cells before it has any cells to draw. This is done to allow a table view to size it's scroll view correctly. It allows for properly sized scroll bars and smooth quick-pans through the table view. Cells are only requested when a table view thinks a cell needs to be displayed to the screen.
UPDATE: How Do I Get Cell Heights
I've had to do this a couple of times. I have my view controller keep a cell which is never used in the table view.
@property (nonatomic) MyTableViewCell *standInCell;
I then use this cell as a stand in when I need measurements. I determine the base height of the cell without the variable sized views.
@property (nonatomic) CGFloat standInCellBaseHeight;
Then in -tableView:heightForRowAtIndexPath:
, I get the height for all my variable sized views with the actual data for that index path. I add the variable sized heights to my stand in cell base height. I return that new calculated height.
Note, this is all non-autolayout. I'm sure the approach would be similar, but not identical to this, but I have no experience.