the answer is to use
android:configChanges="keyboardHidden|orientation"
android:screenOrientation="fullSensor"
like I was using, along with an extra parameter screenSize
for android api level 13+
android:configChanges="keyboardHidden|orientation|screenSize"
android:screenOrientation="fullSensor"
this has to be done for each activity in the manifest where the dialogs may be an issue, as well as putting in
@Override
public void onConfigurationChanged(Configuration newConfig) {
super.onConfigurationChanged(newConfig);
}