What would be appropriate lifetime for a refresh token
Its all dependent on use-case. RefreshToken lifetime can be based on the application requirement. Google oAuth has "Refresh tokens are valid until the user revokes access".
what would be the suggested way of telling that to the OAuthAuthorizationServer.
Yes, you are right for the approach. you can set it to Tiken in the context.
private void CreateRefreshToken(AuthenticationTokenCreateContext context)
{
context.Ticket.Properties.ExpiresUtc = new DateTimeOffset(DateTime.Now.AddMonths(2));
context.SetToken(context.SerializeTicket());
}