You should define XML file name as a context parameter. Later you will set it in Java code, which you will run from eclipse. In a context section(as on next image) add a new variable named "myXmlFile".
Then in your tFileInputXML in Filename/InputStream field set context.myXmlFile.
Next step is exporting the job. To do it, you should follow this instructions. Export it as "Autonomous Job".
Then in your Java project you should add to the classpath a jar generated after job exporting.
To run the job from Java code you should use the next code, in which you will define a context variable and pass it to talend job:
String args[] = new String[3];
args[0] = "--context=Default";
args[1] = "--context_param";
args[2] = "myXmlFile=/path/to/your/xml/file";
YourTallendJobClassName job = new YourTallendJobClassName ();
job.runJob(args);