Yes, you should not join them.
Let's take an example.
Let's say that at LEVEL 3, you have the frequent itemsets:
{ A, B, C} { A, B, D} { A C, D} { B, C, D} { B, F, G
Now let's say that you want to generate candidate itemsets of size 4.
Obviously, you just want to combine itemsets that have 1 different item. Otherwise the result may include itemsets with a size larger than 4. For example, if you could combine BCD and BFG the result would be BCDFG an itemset of size 5, which we don't want. So that is the reason why we only combine itemsets having a single item that is different.
Now, let me explain why we only combine itemsets having the first k-1 items that are identical. The reason is that we don't want to generate the same candidate twice.
For example, if we could combine BCD and ACD we would get ABCD . If we combine also ABC and ABD we would also get ABCD. This is not good because we would generate the same candidate twice! We don't want that! Thus, by ordering itemsets according to the lexicographical order and only combining if the first k-1 items are the same, we will avoid this problem. We would only combine ABC and ABD but we would not combine BCD and ACD. You can get the proof that it works in the Apriori paper.
Hope this helps.