I assume this behaviour was left out specifically because SQL dialects vary significantly between databases, and the Go team wanted to avoid writing a preprocessor for each driver to translate 'GoSQL' into native SQL. The database/sql package mostly provides connection wrangling, which is an abstraction that falls under 'pretty much necessary' instead of statement translation, which is more 'nice to have'.
That said, I agree that re-writing every statement is a major nuisance. It shouldn't be too hard to wrap the database/sql/driver.Prepare() method with a regex to substitute the standard placeholder with the native one, though, or provide a new interface that specifies an additional PrepareGeneric method that guesses a wrapped sql.DB flavour, and provides similar translation.
Gorp
uses a dialect type for this, which may be worth a look.
Just throwing out ideas.