This is not possible to do with UIActivityViewController, or really with any system classes. MFMailComposeViewController allows you to set the recipients, but the user could add or delete recipients, so there is no way to know for sure to whom the message was sent.
To know exactly which recipients were selected, you'd have to roll your own mail compose view controller (which would not have access to the user's mail accounts), which means you'd also have to roll your own replacement for UIActivityViewController.