I would not recommend adaption for very large datasets. Adaptive learning is best for datasets that represent a changing relationship (dataset) over time.
If you have access to the Parallel Computing Toolbox and MATLAB Distributed Computing Server you can use the Neural Network Toolbox to spread calculations and data across multiple machines.
To increase the size of dataset that can be trained within a specific amount of RAM, use TRAINSCG (Scaled conjugate gradient, which uses less memory than Jacobian methods, or alternatively use TRAINBR (Bayesian Regularization Jacobian) with memory reduction (trades off time for memory space).
Assuming you still don't have enough RAM, one possible solution is to train multiple networks on different random subsets of the data using the TRAINBR with memory reduction. TRAINBR attempts to find the simplest possible solution, yet each training session will likely find a quite different solution. After training several dozen (or more) neural networks on different sets of data the outputs of each network can be averaged. Essentially a lot of simple solutions are combined to find a complex relationship.
Be sure to maintain some data which is not used to train any of the TRAINBR neural networks so that the generality of their combined (averaged) outputs can be independently measured.