I was missing this line in my task:
setCreateBranch true
This doesn't overwrite the existing master
branch (which I dreaded a bit as someone who has yet to reach Git-Zen).
Edit:
The reason for being on no branch was because Jenkins' Git plugin checks out a single commit instead of a branch per default. That's why I ended up with a detached head.
Here's how to change the plugin's behavior: link