Yeah, you are fighting the windmills :)
I recommend you to read Local and Push Notifications in depth. It's a bit long but the doc is clarifying.
In a fragment of this doc you can read:
If the application icon is tapped on a device running iOS, the application calls the same method (application:didFinishLaunchingWithOptions:), but furnishes no information about the notification.
And later on:
When handling remote notifications in application:didFinishLaunchingWithOptions: or applicationDidFinishLaunching:, the application delegate might perform a major additional task. Just after the application launches, the delegate should connect with its provider and fetch the waiting data. Listing 2-5 gives a schematic illustration of this procedure.
So having said this you could have a list of sent notifications for each device in your server and each time your app launches check if the device has any pending notification.