Yep. I'm answering my own question. I think this will be helpful to anyone designing a widget that has preferences set.
The problem is not what I thought. The lack of update occurs when the screen is rotated. Apparently, that triggers refresh to the Widget, but it does not call the onUpdate void. So what you get is the raw XML painting out with no update. And it will stay like that until the next automatic update fires.
So the solution to this problem is to identify how to detect a change in screen orientation, and trigger the onUpdate the same as when my "settings" view closes.