If you don't want a constraint be applied to all cells, don't tell the Layout ;-) Instead, use column and row constraints: three columns and let only the last fill and grow and two rows with the last growing
JPanel panel = new JPanel(new MigLayout("", "[][][fill, grow]", "[][fill, grow]"));
panel.add(new JButton("+"));
panel.add(new JButton("-"), "wrap");
panel.add(new JTabbedPane(), "span, grow");