Use the route parameters:
app.delete('/thing/:id', function(req, res){
console.log('deleting ' + req.params.id);
});
Then your model would look like this:
var ThingModel = Backbone.Model.extend({
idAttribute: '_id', // or whatever your id attribute is
urlRoot: '/thing'
});
Then you would delete it like so:
var someThing = new ThingModel({_id:123, foo:'bar'});
someThing.destroy();
It sounds like you did not declare the urlRoot
of your model. Read up on it here.