How to communicate with a co-worker that considers frameworks a performance hit

Question

How can one sell an idea like "we should use jQuery because its highly optimized and cross browser compatible" or "entity framework is cool because its neat and takes care of our model automagically" when the common response is a blanketed statement such as "jquery doesn't perform well" or "entities bring in 12 columns on a table when we only need 10"?

I am a pragmatic guy that tends to trust axioms I've developed through experience (its not a performance problem until there's a visible slowdown). I don't know if there's a specific "category" that the other extreme fits into, whereas everything is a performance problem until proven otherwise...or even where to begin the communication here.