SELECT DISTINCT m.IdNumber,m.birthstate, m.sex, m.DateOfBirth, m.father, m.mother,
mother.birthstate, father.birthsate
FROM members m
left outer join members mother on mother.IdNumber = m.mother
left outer join members father on father.IdNumber = m.father
WHERE (m.DateOfDeath>=ldStartDate AND m.DateOfDeath<=ldEndDate)
You might be able to change the left outer join to an inner join if you know for sure you always have the father and mother.
I'm also assuming the "mother" and "father" are foreign keys to the IdNumber column in the members table.