Fundamentally, you need to run more than one Mongrel.
The mongrel processes will become your backend servers, and you will need to run a front-end load-balancing proxy.
The thing is, the advantage of the pure-Ruby single-threaded Mongrel is easy setup. Once you move beyond the easy-setup realm, you may as well deal with the complexity of running Passenger. Passenger will do the load balancing internally.
If it was me, I would compile nginx or tengine from source, as it does not include Passenger out-of-the-box. This is as simple as adding an argument to the configure script.
# gem install rake rack passenger --no-rdoc --no-ri
# exit
$ ./configure --add-module=`passenger-config --root`/ext/nginx
$ make