According to the docs, you could try:
cv::Mat sel = cv::getStructuringElement(MORPH_ELLIPSE, cv::Size(9,9));
This gave me the following structuring element:
0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0
0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0
0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0
0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0
0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0
While in MATLAB I got:
>> getnhood(strel('disk',5))
ans =
0 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 0
0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
0 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0
0 0 1 1 1 1 1 0 0
So not exactly the same but close enough :)