I think there is a misunderstanding here about UDP. UDP is not a connection oriented protocol which means there is no permanent connection like TCP. UDP just bind to an address/port and waits for packets from everyone. At the server there is only one socket listening per address/port number. When a packet is received you may find out who is the sender by the packet's source IP, you can reply to the sender thru this IP.
As I see it, there is no need for poll() o select() you bind to an address/port and asynchronously receive packets. That is, when a packet is received you get a signal/message alerting your asynchronous function. This function should be reentrant, it means that in the middle of a reception another signal could be received and care must be taken when accessing/modifying global stuff (variables/objects). When dealing with an incoming packet it should be processed as soon as possible or, in case the process takes too long, you better keep the packet in a packet spool and process them in another [less priority] thread.
For UDP packet size read this question.
For UDP fragmentation read this
For UDP packet header read this