Your statement in point A) "anything using this object file needs to use these other object files too" is something that will indeed need to be done by hand. Compilers dont automatically find object files needed by a binary. You have to explicitly list them at link time. If I understand your question correctly, you dont want to have to explicitly list the objects needed by a binary, but want the build tool to automatically find them. I doubt there is any build too that does this: SCons and Cmake definitely dont do this.
If you have an application some_application.cpp
that includes foo.hpp
(or other headers used by these cpp files), and subsequently needs to link the foo.cpp
object, then in SCons, you will need to do something like this:
env = Environment()
env.Program(target = 'some_application',
source = ['some_application.cpp', 'foo.cpp'])
This will only link when 'some_application.cpp', 'foo.hpp', or 'foo.cpp' have changed. Assuming g++, this will effectively translate to something like the following, independently of SCons or Cmake.
g++ -c foo.cpp -o foo.o
g++ some_application.cpp foo.o -o some_application
You mention you have "a directory full of .hpp and .cpp files", I would suggest you organize those files into libraries. Not all in one library, but logically organize them into smaller, cohesive libraries. Then your applications/binaries would link the libraries they need, thus minimizing recompilations due to not used objects.