Karakuri's Answer is very close but I will make my own to clarify.
The key is define the xml schema in the menu tag under your namespace along with the android schema.
<menu xmlns:android="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/android"
xmlns:yourapp="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res-auto">
And then in the item, it needs to be
yourapp:showAsAction="always"
not
android:showAsAction="always"
this is where I messed up.
It shows it in the docs but I accidentally skipped over it.