Spring Extender holds back the startup of an application (setting it's status to Waiting) if a service that you're referencing is unavailable at startup. The reason is that the availability attribute of every referenced service is set to mandatory, and there's a default-timeout global attribute which is by default set to 5 seconds. If the service you're referring to doesn't appear in that amount of time, Spring Extender will throw an Exception like that you have. So what I think is something wrong with the service publication of your DataSource. Do you have the corresponding tag in your other application?
<osgi:service ...>
Check out this link: http://static.springsource.org/osgi/docs/2.0.0.M1/reference/html/service-registry.html. It contains a lot of example. Ensure that in both osgi:service and both osgi:reference you have the javax.sql.DataSource interface set. And be aware of not publishing the same interface by 2 different bundles.
One more thing: just to be sure, import the javax.sql package in your manifest:
<Import-Package>javax.sql</Import-Package>
Hope this helps, Gergely