I kind of feel like I cheated when I answer my own question, but maybe this will help someone else. This was just tested and worked. The key appears to be to add a valid website in the href of the a tag. That's what I did, and then forced in a bunch of formatting to ensure it did not look anything like a link, even though it is one.
<a style="color:#ffffff; text-decoration:none; cursor: text;" href="http://www.my-tracking-link.com" class="welcomelink">Staples.com</a>
.welcomelink repeats the inline styles and also manages the hover and visited states.