Your error is in the network protocol design.
Unless your protocol has this information, there's no way to distinguish the response from the server-initiated communication. And network latency prevents obvious time-based approach you've described from working reliably.
One simple way to fix the protocol in your case (if the server-initiated messages are always less then 255 bytes) - add the 7-th byte to the beginning of the response, with the value FF.
This way you can readDataWithTimeout:tag: for 1 byte.
On timeout you retry until there's a data.
If the received value is FF, you read 6 more bytes with readDataToLength:6 timeout: tag:
, and interpret it as the response to the request you've sent earlier.
If it's some other value, you read the message with readDataToLength:theValue timeout: tag:
, and process the server-initiated message.