UPDATE This is not valid in your case where you had a list of ids (didn't read your question properly).
First, batch deletes of the "parents" can be made setting adonet.batch_size, http://nhibernate.info/doc/nh/en/index.html#performance-batch-updates.
END UPDATE
Secondly, to avoid reading the children (and generate deletes for these), you can set the cascading delete to happen on db level by setting ON CASCADE DELETE as a foreign key constraints.
Eg (note the on-delete attr)
<set name="TheCollection" inverse="true" cascade="save-update">
<key name="theKey" on-delete="cascade"/>
<one-to-many class="TheType"/>
</set>
Note that
- this only works on inverse (bidirectional) relationships.
- your db schema needs to be updated with this fk constraint
- don't use cascade="all" or similar where deletes are included