Working solution after several updates to the original question
Your settings.xml file declares a catch-all mirror. This takes effect over the local repository declaration in your pom file. Either remove the catch-all mirror, or try excluding the repository ID of your project repository from the mirroring:
<mirror>*,!my-repo</mirror>
Original answer
Looks like you install the library to the default local Maven repository location (~/.m2/repository), but then you try to pick it up from a location within your project.
Try changing the repository location for Maven before you run the "mvn install:install-file" goal. You can do this by adding a "localRepository" setting in your settings.xml.
You could also create a new settings.xml specifically for your project and tell Maven to use that whenever you work on your project (-s parameter on the command line). IDEs like Eclipse or IntelliJ also support using an alternative settings.xml file.